A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks, “Dad, what are bastards and bitches?” And his dad replies, “Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen.”
Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, “Shit!” “Mom, what is shit?” and she says, “Perfume.” So he goes to see his dad (who is carving a chicken), and his dad cuts himself and yells, “F*ck!” The boy asks, “Dad, what does fu*k mean?” and dad says “preparing.”
Then he follows his dad upstairs. A few minutes later his mom and dad are about to have s*x when his dad says, “Where are the c*ndoms?” The little boy asks, “What are c*ndoms?” and his father says, “C*ndoms are coats and jackets.” The following night his father invites over some important business clients. The boy opens the door for them and says, “Hello! Please come in, Bastards and bitches. Hang your c*ndoms up here, my mom is upstairs rubbing shit on her face and my dad is downstairs f*cking the chicken.