A student comes late to school. His teacher asked him “Why were you late to school?” Student: “My mom and dad were fighting.” Teacher: “What does your parents fighting have to do with you being late for school?” Student: “One of my shoes was in my mom’s hand and the other one was in dad’s…
A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.” the husband lurched into bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out…
Upon getting to work one morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is reminded by his secretary that it’s his wife’s birthday today. At lunch, Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for her. Unfortunately, he realizes that life has been good and she has everything she needs. Upon passing a lingerie…
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch A woman passing by remarks, “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady.” He replies, “If you were any sort of a s*xy lady, the hat would lift by itself.”
A man was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. “Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to…
My wife phoned me, and she was breathless. “Where are you?” she screamed. “I’m at the pub,” I replied. She said, “I think the baby’s coming!” I said, “Well, he won’t get in. He’s underage.”
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won’t quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, “What would you like, sir?” He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful…
Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used. It is through this entrance that they find a secret passage way, one that is made at first…
Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me.” The Texan lady commented, “Well, isn’t that nice?” The lady from Mississippi continued,…
A man had three beautiful girlfriends but didn’t know which one to marry. As a test, he decided to give each woman $5,000 to see how they would spend it.The first girlfriend went out and got herself a complete makeover, She told him, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because…
