A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of shoes she likes and must have… The husband says, “No fu*king chance love, They’re too expensive!” Later on that night in bed, The wife is just falling off to sleep when the husband tries his luck and places his hands on her…
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind to unzip her skirt…
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going…
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” Now his mind travels…
My wife comes home from the tattoo parlour She has a tattoo right on her left n*pple I ask her why, and she replies with, “tat for tit”
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom’s best friend takes him aside and asks what’s wrong. “Well,” replies the man, “when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking.” “Oh, you shouldn’t worry about that too much,” says…
Teacher in class asks riddles. She asks little Johnny: “It’s a small animal with 4 legs. What is it?” Little Johnny says: “Dog.” Teacher replies: “But could be a cat too. Alright, another one. It’s a long, thin animal with no legs.” Little Johnny: “A snake.” Teacher: “Could be. But could also be an eel.”…
On their first date, a man asked his companion if she’d like a drink with dinner. “Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?” she said. Later, he offered her a cigarette. “Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?” she said again. On the drive home, he saw a motel….
A Man Is Lying In Bed In The Hospital Wearing An Oxygen Mask Over His Mouth And Nose A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash…
I was once passing through a town in England when this lady stopped me because she needed help fixing her car that had broken down. As I was fixing the car, the lady would cross the road and shout “Hello” at me. This happened a few times as the lady found it really amusing. I…
