himself. He says “fu*k it. That guy way full shit. There’s no way one little drinkwill kill me.” And goes into the bar. The other 2 men; curious to see what happens, wait for him outside.Minutes later the alcoholic opens the bar door, takes one step onto the sidewalk, and drops dead. The other 2…
of the SS says “Mr President, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we’ve done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it’s Mike Pence’s.” “That traitor”, shouts Trump. “I’ll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news?” “Well”, says the…
MORE FUNNY JOKES A few months after his parents were divorced – Funny Story
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.Little Johnny ran into his room, took off hisclothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning,“Ohh, I…
So my friend got a job as a P0RN star the other day. His first time doing that. The director comes up to him and says “so for this scene, you’re going to be doing m!ss!onary s*x with that young lady over there”. My friend, kind of awkward, he says “Ok, so is there any…
Dylan was practicing his golf swing in his front yard when he swung a little too hard and sent the ball through his neighbors window. Dylan ran over and rang the doorbell three times. After no one answered for a few minutes, he opened the door to see broken glass everywhere, a lamp lying on…
A married couple walked into the shoe Shop.The salseman said to them, “I have some special shoe I think you’d be interested in. They make you wild with s*xual desire like a great dessert camel” Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt…
Guy goes to prison, and on his first night, 5 minutes after lights out, he hears some one yell out “Thirty-one!” Followed by laughter. Then another voice yells “twelve!” More laughter. This goes on for a minutes or so, people yelling out random numbers, followed by people laughing. He turns to his cellmate and asks…
A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.“Thank you honey” she says, “is there anything I can bring back for you?”He laughs and says, “an Italian girl.”When the conference is over, he meets her at the airport and asks, “how was the trip?”“Very good” she…
